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Posts Tagged ‘unstuck’

Wherever you go, there you are

Tuesday, August 10th, 2010

august10_wherever-you-go

Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book “Wherever you go there you are” is one of those books I haven’t put back on the bookshelf after I finished reading it. From time to time I just re-read one of its short chapters. Sometimes as a reminder, inspiration or to regain some simplicity in my life.

Over the last few years I have gradually integrated mindfulness in my life. This practice helps me live my life fuller and more aware. It fosters my curiosity and opens a door to all my emotions, feelings, thoughts and visions in my life. The more mindful my way of living becomes the more freedom I feel I create wherein I can make choices and welcome changes.


I want to share with you a few things I have learned

1. Become aware of what is going on in your body and your mind.

2. Get in touch with the many aspects of your life. The dark faces, the pain, the fear, the happiness, the joyous moments, habits, assumptions, judgements, struggles, your beliefs.

3. Acknowledge that what is happening is happening.

4. The more you practice mindfulness the more you will see things clearly and you will be able to position yourself differently in relationship to them.

5. Let go: Holding on to your struggles, your likes and dislikes, hold you back in discovering and expanding your possibilities. Allow things to be as they are for you to find your own way.

6. Find your moments of simplicity: Even in a life where you have to manage family, work, children, friends, etc.
Choose to do one thing at a time. Start with small things. Do them mindfully.

7. Stop what you are doing: From time to time, take time out to observe what you see, hear, feel, what is happening around you.

8. Ask yourself “Where is my mind right now?” Do this a few times a day. You will be surprised how often your mind is not here, but visiting other places.

“You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf”

Swami Satchitananda in “Wherever you go there you are”

You might also want to read:
Video: Mindfulness with Jon-Kabatt ZInn

Waiting for …

Thursday, August 5th, 2010

waiting-for

What are you waiting for? For the train to arrive, the dentist to call your name or for things to change so that you can move on.

Do you know that feeling as if you are in a waiting room not knowing what to do, or what decisions to make? No doors or too many doors. In both cases you are in there and don’t go forward, backward or sideward. You are stuck.

When you find yourself in a state of inertia it is often accompanied by low energy and a feeling of being overwhelmed.

For example, you might wish to feel better, to be happier, but don’t know where to start. All seems to be too difficult. “Being happier” is a big and abstract idea that is difficult to grasp.

It is much easier to ask yourself, what are the small things that make you feel better on a daily basis. For one person, it might be going for a walk, for someone else it is meeting a friend. I am sure you can come up with many small things for yourself.

Break down something that is too big, too abstract into small and specific actions. When you do that, you can get yourself out of the waiting room. Because all you have to do is do one small and simple action. You get yourself moving.

One small action, that is all you have to start with.

“Nothing will be attempted if all possible obstacles must first be removed”

Samuel Johnson

You might also want to read:
3 Things to remember when you face change
Dream, Dare, Do

Image: Some rights reserved by Unhindered by Talent

Dream, Dare, Do

Thursday, July 29th, 2010

dream-dare-do

Thinking about the kind of changes you want to make in your life is an important first step to take. Maybe you want to feel better, improve the relationship with your partner or want to have a better job. Where most of us get stuck is how to translate our wish for change into actions. There is often a big gap between knowing what you want to change and actually doing it. At times it can be overwhelming because you don’t know where to start or fear comes in the way.

Ben Tiggelaar, bestselling author, researcher and speaker in the field of leadership, change and human behavior has written about what it takes to go from thinking to doing in “Dream, Dare, Do”.



Here are some useful tips from his article I want to share with you:

1. Your daily behaviour determines the results in your life. The things you do every day are critical.

2. When you translate goals into specific behavior you significantly increase your chance to achieve those goals.

3. You don’t have to become a different person, when you want to change. Just be more like yourself as you are in your best moments.

4. Become aware of your exceptionally good moments and describe in detail what you are doing in those moments.

5. Plan ahead. Come up with actions you can apply in times when you encounter obstacles or setbacks.

Read in more detail how you can make lasting change here.

Do you know who you are?

Tuesday, July 27th, 2010

who-are-you

“Be authentic, be true to yourself” – an advice I often hear. People tell us to be authentic when we make new friends, start a new relationship or need to make some changes in our life. However, what does it mean, being authentic. How do you know you are true to yourself?

The thing is we are not just one real self, but have many different parts.

Those parts play out in varying degrees depending on the roles and the situations we are in. Imagine, you introduce yourself at a business networking meeting, or get acquainted with other parents of your child’s new school.

Which words would you use to describe yourself in those different situations and roles? You will probably notice that some words seem to be more dominant than others and some might even be in conflict.

Take the following example. A parent is so happy for her daughter to work in a job she enjoys. However, at the same time she might feel a sense of loss and disconnection, because her daughter is now thousands of miles away.

The problem is when we identify ourselves to just one part we get stuck in a problem, a situation or behaviour that is not helpful to us.

Realising, that ‘you’ consists of many parts, is the first step to make changes and get unstuck.

The more you are curious about the different faces of yourself and become aware of them the better you will be able to create a balance. You will be able to nurture parts that were more passive and therefore change the dynamics.

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change”

Carl Rogers

You might also want to read:
Conversations with my pink elephant

Image: Some rights reserved by Benimoto

Life is a balancing act

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

balance-act

When I was young I did gymnastics. I was confident with the floor and vault exercises, but had an ongoing conflict with the balance beam. In my mind it was the most cruel part of gymnastics. Raised from the floor and only 10 cm wide. Every time I lost balance I added a painful bruise to my collection on my legs, sometimes hitting the same spot over and over again. At times my mind was consumed with the vision of falling which resulted in my body to freeze.

My movements became jerky instead of fluent and flexible. My body tensed up and reacted to anything that was going on internally (my fearful visions) and in my environment (instructions from my trainer). These constant responses literally threw me off balance.

To master the beam you have to be able to listen to your body and take mindful actions to move forward.

The difficulty for me was to find the right balance between listening and taking action.

I still encounter those situations in my life where I fall off the beam. I loose balance and catch myself reacting to anything that comes my way.

When I find myself in this situation I put away and turn off anything that could distract me from regaining balance. This could be the radio, phone, computer, or any paper or to do lists that stare in my face.

Then I just do nothing, only follow the air of my breath and observe any sensation that emerges. This can take me one minute, ten or twenty. This little ‘time-out’ exercise clears my mind and often shows me how to get back on the balance beam.

What is your experience? How do you balance listening and taking action?

Image: Raphael Goetter

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Create space for clarity

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