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Posts Tagged ‘possibility’

Conversations with my pink elephant

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

pink-elephant5
Recently, I had a good conversation with my pink elephant. Sounds strange to you? My pink elephant comes in the form of fear, anxiety or self-doubt. It had started to push me around a bit and wanted to make decisions for me I would regret.

The more you ignore…
I have started to make a habit out of having a conversation with the things I don’t like. Why? The more I tried to ignore those thoughts or feelings the more powerful they became. They worked hard to get all my attention, while I really tried not give them any platform. You can imagine that I didn’t have much attention left for anything else.

Try it, right now: “At all cost, don’t think of the pink elephant. It’s right here in the corner, in front of you or standing behind you. Remember, don’t think of the pink elephant”

Why a conversation?
Isn’t it enough to allow it to be here in the room with you? Well, in my experience it is a vital part in making fear less powerful over my behaviour, decisions and the direction I want to go.
However, I also realised the better I got to know it through conversations the quicker I was able put my attention toward what I want to focus on.

Over time my conversations have become shorter as I got to know my pink elephant better in all those different situations it would come up. In those conversations it can have it’s voice, just like you would your aspirations, your values or goals want to have and find a voice. They are all part of you.

The most important question I ask my pink elephant:
What do you want me to know about you?

Other questions you might want to ask:
What is your purpose?
What makes you more/less present?
Who are your allies?

Have you ever wondered what your pink elephant would like to tell you?

Image: poplinre

Ride that bike

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

ride-that-bike

What do you do about your fear of presenting? How can you learn to become aware where you are stuck and how to take action.

Do you remember when you learned how to ride a pushbike? You probably had help from your parents or maybe an older sibling. Falling off the bike, getting hurt and being frightened did not held you back in mastering the bike. You chose to learn to ride that bike no matter what.

When we grow into adults we sometimes loose that ability because there seems to be so much at stake – status, reputation, financial success, your place in the community, your public image,… – everything you work hard to achieve and maintain.

How can you re-discover this ability of choice? Practice is key to improving your presentation skills and developing confidence. So, think of those situations where you have to prepare for a presentation, but you procrastinate and wait until the last moment. Or, you do prepare in a certain way but it doesn’t seem to help you develop confidence. In both situations you are stuck and worries, fear or unhelpful thoughts seem to have the power to keep you there.

They literally narrow your ability to see and discover other ways to practice.

You can make those unwanted thoughts and feelings less powerful. Start today, and become curious about them. When you do that on a regularly it will open up the narrow view into a vista of possibilities. Here is where you can choose to prepare for presentations differently.

Learn to become aware of what is coming up for you, also notice all your reasons why you might not be able to do things differently. They are all part of your unhelpful thoughts that keep you stuck. Write them down and just let them be as they are. Don’t try to change them, push them away or turn them into a positive. Simply notice them. It might seem counter-intuitive to you, but over time you will realise that their power becomes weaker.

Also, ask yourself the following question:
If I would not struggle with worries or fear, what kind of presenter would I want to be?

“Start wherever you are and start small” – Rita Bailey

The art of saying no

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

Say NO

Do you find yourself saying yes to all sorts of requests, only to regret it afterwards? Here are a few questions that help you say no.

Learning to say no will give you more control and freedom over who you want to assist and it will reduce your daily stress. So, start to practice today. The more you practice the easier it will get to say no in the situations you said yes out of habit.

Ask yourself these questions before you respond to a request:

Do I have the time?
What do I have to give up to do this?
Will I feel pressured?
Will I be upset with myself or resent the person asking?
Will I feel duped or manipulated?

These questions are from Sue Newman’s book “The Book of NO”

Do you know where you are going?

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010

roadsigns

This morning I was heading to a meeting and realised how many road signs you see when driving a car.
How do we know which ones to follow or give attention to?

Imagine, for the first time in your life you see a road. And it is full of signs with different colours, shapes, sizes and information. Would you give each sign the same attention? What if you meet people on the road and they are telling you different stories about which signs you should look out for? How would you know which are the most important ones for you?

This morning I knew my destination, the direction and how to drive a car. So, those hundreds of signs didn’t distract me or got me off course. I knew which ones I needed to follow.

When you don’t know your direction it is like being on the road with all those signs for the first time. You easily get distracted.

What is your destination? Which road signs do you follow?

The growth mindset

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

“… the more a person believes that abilities can be developed, the greater the success that person will eventually enjoy.”
(David Schenk in The Genius in All of Us, referring to research by Carol Dweck)

Something to inspire you to keep on learning and discovering new experiences. This video is made by Christian Borstlap for ‘Kinderpostzegels’ a charity focused on the promotion of children’s education. Enjoy.

things to learn from Matt Edgar on Vimeo.

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