Change is a peculiar thing. It is the only constant in our life and it is essential for growth and development. Often we adapt to it without giving it much thought. However some changes in our life effect us more and can be exhausting and painful.

In my experience, it is not that people don’t like change. What they find difficult to cope with is the unwanted feelings, unhelpful thoughts and worries that often accompany change. These can be very stressful, and we often want to push them away. The reason? Because they keep us from going towards a preferred direction. The downside of controlling unwanted thoughts is that it exhausts us the more we do it.

Whenever you adjust to change or want to create change, remember these three things:

1. What matters to you?:What do you want your life to stand for, how do you want to be in your relationship with others, what qualities do you strive for? Knowing what is important to you is like a guide and motivator to us. Make a list of what matters to you in various domains, such as family, relationships, work, business.
2. Chip away at change: Creating or adapting to change does not happen overnight. It takes many small steps and goals. So, write down your goals that you can achieve immediately, on the short-term, mid-term and long-term. These goals need to support your most important values, what matters most to you. If they don’t it will be very difficult to stay motivated. Also, be aware that there will be times when you might realise that you need to reassess certain goals or steps. This is normal in the process of change. It does not mean that you failed only that you need to make some adjustments to how you live by your values.
3. Know that fear or worries are part of the deal: Feeling invigorated by change does not mean that you might not worry from time to time. When worries, fear or pain arise, be curious about them, observe them and acknowledge those worries and unwanted feelings, so that you can focus on the change that you desire.

Tags: change, direction